


Of Pumpkins, Dinos, and Batman

by notsofriendlyghosts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cute Dads, Cute Kids, Explicit Language, Family Fluff, Frisky Dads, Halloween, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, New Dads, Some feels, cute and dumb, parenting struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 15:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5253875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsofriendlyghosts/pseuds/notsofriendlyghosts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their little dino was always a menace. Their pumpkin—far too adorable for his own good. And Batman? Batman was always there to save the day.</p><p>The only question: Can Erwin and Levi survive a night of trick-or-treating with all three?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Pumpkins, Dinos, and Batman

**Author's Note:**

> It's still October and you can't tell me otherwise. Lol, late as always, but in my defense I DID say no guarantees to get it out on time. I ended up taking a little mental health break and now I am in Japan for vacation, so yeah *makes more excuses*
> 
> Also sorry about the boring summary, I don't know how to make "gay dads take cute smols out for candy" sound interesting haha.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this gay family fluff nonsense. Happy Hallowsgiving or something idk <3

“Get _back here_ , you little demon!”

Levi’s shout was answered by a shrill scream from the four-year-old that just barely managed to evade the hands grabbing for him. The grown man squeezed his hands into fists in front of his face with a barely-contained growl, the irritation practically steaming out of his ears.

It was one thing to deal with two four-year olds and a five-year old; it was another thing entirely when dealing with just _one_ of those four-year-olds was like dealing with an army of brats put into one tiny body.

An exasperated chuckle from the man behind Levi made him turn around to glare into the bright blue eyes he had fallen in love with so many years ago. He pointed an accusing finger between Erwin’s eyebrows, making his eyes cross as they followed his fingertip.

“You should’ve bought the little shit a devil costume instead of Batman,” Levi seethed at his partner.

“ _Language_ ,” Erwin warned in a hushed voice before he answered calmly. “I got Eren the Batman costume because he wanted to be Batman.”

“ _Clearly_ ,” Levi drawled with heavy sarcasm, and directed his tired eyes to the trail of black fabric that led down the hallway to the bedrooms.

Erwin put his hands to Levi’s shoulders, gently massaging out the tense muscles in his neck. “Halloween is almost over,” he promised when Levi relaxed back into him with a sigh. He dragged his hands down Levi’s sides to wrap his arms around him and set his chin on his shoulder.

He moved gently, slowly rocking back and forth to placate the short-tempered man. “We’ve already decorated the house inside and out. We’ve carved and lit the pumpkins, and avoided having to call an ambulance. We’ve watched Halloween movies with the kids. We’ve set the candy out. We’ve got all the costumes...to an extent,” he said, laughing when Levi started to grumble again.

“All that’s left to do is take the kids out trick-or-treating until they tire themselves out. Then we can come home and put them to bed.” Erwin kissed the side of Levi’s neck, a firm, warm pressure. Levi brought his hands up to rest over the arms hugged around his middle.

“Mhm? And then what?” Levi asked with a little tease in his voice, pressing back into the body behind him.

Erwin hummed into his skin and gave his neck another sweet kiss. “Then we’ll essentially have the house to ourselves. Scary movies and a bottle of wine after a night of rowdy children? Maybe a little something more if you’re up for it,” he chuckled. Levi turned his head and kissed Erwin on the lips, letting the contact between them linger.

“What are we going to do about Eren and his clothes?” Levi grouched again when his thoughts shifted back to where their naked son had run off to.

“I wull be Batman,” slurred a quiet voice from Levi’s pant leg. They both startled in surprise; neither one of them had noticed one of their kids sneaking up on them so quietly. The two looked down at the mop of black hair—messy from a recent, impromptu nap.

“Do you really want to be Batman, Mikasa?” Erwin asked with amusement clear in his voice. Levi looked back up to Erwin and met his playful smile with a small smirk of his own.

“Yes,” came her definite response. “Papa...” she pleaded and tugged on Levi’s pant leg gently with one hand, rubbing her sleepy eyes with the other.

He bent down, Erwin’s hands falling away from him, and hefted her up onto his hip. Surprisingly strong arms wrapped around his neck, her deep red scarf (a security blanket of sorts) cushioning her head against his shoulder.

Levi grunted and adjusted her up a little higher, his slender hips not providing much of a platform to seat his daughter. “You’re getting a little too big for this, Mikasa,” he complained to her. Mikasa just yawned and settled more comfortably in his arms. He gave her a gentle kiss on top of her head that made Erwin smile quietly at the both of them.

“Once everyone is dressed, we are going trick-or-treating,” Erwin determined, looking down at his watch. “Will you be awake, Mikasa?”

She nodded at him with her eyes closed, slipping back into Nap Mode.

“Will you help get Eren into clothes to wear, Batman?” Erwin asked. He chuckled when Mikasa’s eyes shot open to look at him. She nodded her agreement more enthusiastically than before. “Good, good. Could you go get your brothers, please?”

She struggled in Levi’s grasp, forcing him to set her down so she could bolt down the hallway, her oversized scarf unraveling from her neck and trailing along behind her. She came back out to gather up the abandoned pieces of costume in the hallway and scurried back just as quickly. The next thing they heard was Eren screeching again, but this time it didn’t last for more than a few seconds. Next was Armin whining, most likely because Eren’s screeching from the same room had woken him up from his own nap.

“Think we can control those three when there’s hoards of other kids and candy at every door?” Levi asked with a sigh as they made their way down the hall to get all their kids situated for their first night of trick-or-treating as a family.

“Hopefully,” Erwin laughed. They both stood in the doorway of the boys’ room, watching Mikasa do her best to wrestle Eren into something to wear.

“I’m concerned about Eren,” Levi said quietly with a particular tenseness in his voice. Erwin knew what he meant, though Levi didn’t like to admit this sort of thing out loud. Levi wasn’t just worried about him staying in his clothes, or being loud and obnoxious all the time. He wasn’t just thinking about the frightening notion of the already overactive child hopped up on a ton of sugar. It was far more personal than that.

Eren came stomping toward the door just then in his favorite dinosaur onesie. The fuzzy green material grabbed close to his ankles and wrists, the buttons down the front only halfway done up. A tail dragged along behind him and a hood sat high on his head, a long line of stegosaurus spikes trailing all the way down the back. He curled his fingers into claws and roared at his dads, an almost pathetically high-pitched version of a growl that made both his parents chuckle.

Mikasa let her dads take it from there and turned to the other side of the room to help Armin. He was sitting halfway into the closet on top of the previously neat line of his shoes, struggling to get his costume out of its packaging.

“Rowr rowr rowr!” Eren growled at Levi, the sound deafeningly loud as it bounced through the doorway into the hall. He stomped exaggeratedly over to him and gave him a hard chomp on his arm.

“ _Ow!_ You fuc— You brat!” Levi exclaimed, grabbing Eren by his pudgy cheek to pull him off. The painful set of wet, red and purple teeth marks in his skin made a flare of anger rush through his head. He bent over and pressed his hand up under Eren’s chin to squish his cheeks just shy of too hard. “Don’t. Bite. _Eren_.”

“Hey, now,” Erwin scolded Levi, right before Eren’s face scrunched and he let out a loud wail that echoed from every angle of the house. When Levi pulled away, there were tears wetting the back of his hand that sent him suddenly into an aggravated panic himself.

“You deal with it,” Levi bit out at Erwin, flushing angrily for embarrassing himself in front of his partner. “I’m crap at dealing with kids, you should know that by now. It was your fu—your idea to have kids,” he added with a noticeable strain of pain in his voice.

“Shh shh shh,” Erwin hushed the both of them as he squatted down in front of Eren. “If I’m not mistaken, it was your persuasive decision to adopt the three of them instead of just M-I-K-A-S-A,” he directed toward Levi.

That wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair. Levi knew he was a shit parent and having his partner rub it in that he did it to himself was an even harder blow. For lack of better words, he was absolutely, completely, utterly jealous of Erwin. He handled all of their kids so well, when he barely only had the hang of Mikasa. Erwin always knew what to do. He always knew what to say. And Levi was just floundering, resorting to yelling or being a little rough with them when they got out of hand—behaviors that made him feel childish, behaviors he blamed on his own upbringing.

Erwin wiped at Eren’s eyes with the handkerchief from his back pocket before he rubbed it under his dripping nose, making him blow into it with a gross wet noise. He buttoned up Eren’s onesie properly and kept dabbing at his face until he calmed down.

So easy. Why wasn’t it that easy for Levi too? They had had their three kids for a little more than a year and a half now, and Levi didn’t feel like he had improved much at all. He just wasn’t the natural that Erwin was.

“Eren?” Erwin cooed at their sniffling son.

“R-rowr...”

Erwin smiled and pulled the green spiked hood further over his son’s head. “Mr. Dinosaur?”

“Rooowwrr.”

“I know you’re a _big, scary dinosaur_. But biting isn’t nice, is it?” Eren looked down at his bare feet sheepishly, wouldn’t look anywhere near Levi’s direction. He shook his head slowly, a grumpy pout pursing his lips.

“No, it’s not nice,” Erwin repeated. “Can you say sorry to Papa?” The little dino shook his head vigorously, stubborn and nervous—it was another one of those times where he was too anxious to look at his big, mean Papa. Levi wanted to throttle himself; he didn’t want his own kids to misbehave, but he didn’t want to terrify them either.

Erwin curled a finger under Eren’s chin to make him meet his eyes. “Papa won’t be mad if you say sorry. Right, Papa?”

Fighting a scowl, Levi grumbled back a sarcastic, “Yes, _Daddy_.”

“See? Go on,” Erwin urged and gave Levi a discreet glance of disapproval at the terseness of his reply. He gently pushed Eren toward his other dad. Eren stumbled a bit over the thick fabric tail that came out of the back of his onesie, only catching himself when he smacked into Levi’s leg and grimaced again.

Hoping with all his might that the brat wouldn’t start crying all over again, Levi looked down. His eyes widened a little in surprise when instead of a verbal apology, Eren reached out and grabbed his fingers to bring his mouth back to the bite mark on his arm. Levi almost tugged his arm away again, but instead of another hard bite, Eren gave him a sloppy kiss on his arm before he let it go and turned around to run back to Erwin.

Levi couldn’t help his small smile. Sometimes that little troublemaker could be as cute and cooperative as his siblings. Erwin scooped Eren up easily, and Levi felt a profound sense of adoration at how tiny Eren looked huddled in his tall partner’s arms—though he knew very well that that wouldn’t last forever. He wondered if any of them would reach past his own height in their early teens. Another wave of panic clouded over the adoration when he thought of dealing with these three when they were _teenagers. Ugh._

“No bare feet,” Levi said, gently pinching Eren’s ticklish toes and making him squirm. “Let’s go put your shoes on, okay?” Eren grumbled and fussed, clearly because didn’t want to change from Erwin’s hands to Levi’s, and he wanted to be wearing less, rather than more. Dinosaurs did not wear shoes.

Armin stumbled out of his closet to join them, his arm in the wrong sleeve of his shirt, his head stuck between the other and the head hole. “ _Daaaddyyyy_ ,” Armin whined. “ _Heeeelp!_ ”

“Alright,” Levi said to Erwin as he took Eren out of his arms so the other man could help the little ball of sunshine struggling inside his shirt. He frowned when Eren squirmed more, trying to get away from him. “Let’s get everyone dressed before the sun rises and we miss all the candy,” he warned more to the fussy child in his arms than to the other three.

“CANDY!” Eren shouted in his ear.

 

* * *

 

“Erwin, what happened to your face?”

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

Levi curled his lip. “You look like a hot mess. What did you do, do your makeup with your foot and your eyes closed?” he mocked, adjusting the crooked medallion about Erwin’s neck. Levi looked him over— shiny black shoes, a smart black suit, an old-looking medallion in place of his usual bolo tie, a sleek black cape...the awful, smudged, heavy-handed makeup that covered his face.

Erwin subconsciously licked the plastic fangs stuck to his canines. “I let the kids do my makeup,” he said, smiling wolfishly and flashing his sharp teeth at Levi. He closed in on Levi, his partner wearily regarding the uneven white paint base, the messy dark circles under his eyes, his lopsided contour, his eyebrows darkened and colored in outside the lines, the fake blood slopped over his chin.

Before he fully realized how close Erwin was getting to him, there were lips on the side of his neck. A gentle lick, several warm kisses. A hard bite.

Levi cried out in pain, though he couldn’t help the thrill that shot through his body. He grabbed Erwin by his jacket, fists tight and pushing him away; he pulled him back just as quickly when lighter nips were spread over his neck and down to his collarbone. When Erwin finally moved back to meet Levi’s dazed eyes he chuckled aloud.

“ _What?_ ” Levi snapped defensively.

Erwin rubbed his finger into the bite marks. “I left some fake blood on you,” he explained before leaning in to suck lightly at his skin.

“Ew, why are you eating nasty makeup?” Levi complained, slinking away from the mouth over-sensitizing his neck.

The blond licked his lips. “Cherry flavored,” he replied with a little grin. Levi waved him away and walked down the hall, rubbing at his neck to dissipate the mild burning sensation.

“All three of you went potty?” he asked the trio when he entered their room again. Three confident, impatient nods. He kept his eyes on Eren for an extra second or two, mentally assessing whether he was telling truth or not. It wouldn’t be the first time that they’d ended up in a place without a bathroom and Eren had started squirming within the hour. He gave him the benefit of the doubt this time. “Alright. Ready to go?”

Their eyes lit up excitedly, running past Levi to get to the front door. “I guess that’s a yes,” Levi sighed quietly to himself. The front door was crowded when Levi returned to the rest of his family. Eren and Armin were bouncing up and down, too much excitement for such small bodies to contain.

Eren managed to keep his dinosaur onesie on without changing his mind, though getting him into his green shoes had proven to be difficult—as usual.

Armin was the cutest thing he and Erwin had ever seen. His hair bounced happily with the rest of him, his eyes always bright with curiosity. It was quite the wonder how he had the same shade of blue in his eyes as Erwin; people always assumed that they were blood-related just as easily as they assumed that Levi and Mikasa were as well.

Armin was a pumpkin for his first Halloween. It really was an adorable costume, especially since all he could do while in the damn thing was waddle-run and hope he didn’t fall over by bumping into things. He wore the puffiest of pumpkin suits from a local family store, held up by bright suspender straps and with the bottom cinched around each thigh. A white and green striped longsleeve shirt underneath kept him warm (as being cold was always Armin’s number-one complaint), and he wore the same little green Converse as Eren. The finishing piece was the little hat clipped into his hair—the pumpkin top that topped it all off.

Then there was Mikasa, wearing Eren’s Batman costume without a fuss. While it had been a little large on Eren, it fit her perfectly. Her general demeanor made her look so broody and serious behind the mask, though she wasn’t as sinister with her bright red scarf wrapped thickly around her neck. Batman needed to be warm to fight crime, obviously.

Levi on his own wasn’t anything special. He wore normal clothes from his closet, all black: a tight pair of jeans, a longsleeve shirt that dipped low in a V to expose his chest, a pair of pointed-toe boots, and a cape-like piece of outerwear that lay open against his chest and reached the backs of his knees. He added a few rings and a pentagram necklace to spice things up, and a huge black witch hat on top of his neatly arranged hair to suit the occasion. Whenever he had to dress up for something, it was either fashionably or not at all.

Erwin called the attention of everyone, intent on laying down the ground rules for the evening before everyone got themselves lost in the crowd. His rules were simple: Always stay with Papa or Daddy, or where they can be seen by Papa or Daddy. No running off on their own (a reiteration for Eren). No taking your clothes off (also for Eren). No taking off the glow necklaces he would give them all. And no eating candy until they got home. That last one was a struggle for the boys, but Mikasa nodded like she would obey every rule and keep the other two in line.

With that (and much whining from Eren about no candy), Erwin took the large bunch of glowsticks in his hand and cracked them to life. The kids watched in awe, the swirling cloud of neon green spreading from one end of the sticks to the other with each sharp pop. Erwin shook them, a blur of light obscuring his huge hand.

Each of them got one. Armin wore his like a bangle, swinging his arm around and watching the trail of luminescence. Eren wore his like a necklace, only because he could weasel his way into getting two sticks, since the ring had to be large enough to go around his neck. There really wasn’t much room to put a bracelet or necklace on Mikasa and her Batman getup, so she wore hers hanging from her plastic utility belt to go along with her other ‘gadgets’.

Then they were off into the night.

 

* * *

 

It was maybe around the two-hour mark that Levi started to feel like he was done for the evening. The kids were having a blast, though. Erwin had strategically avoided taking them past the extra scary houses, mostly for Armin’s sake; the poor kid nearly had a heart attack because of a motion-activated witch at one of the smaller houses a few blocks from theirs.

They all had plenty of candy, their buckets filled past the halfway point. Eren was a little jealous because all the older ladies kept giving Armin extra candy for being so cute in his pumpkin costume with his matching pumpkin pail. Armin would always give Eren an extra piece of his own candy, though. That kid spoiled his brother.

On the contrary, all the commotion and screaming people were grating on Levi’s nerves. They were in a part of the district where all the college and high school kids were, slutty costumes and drunken shouts all around.

Mikasa tugged on Levi’s cape to direct his attention to Eren, finally caught causing trouble that night—as expected.

He seemed to have found that pudgy Jean-kid from his Monday gymnastics class, as the both of them were yanking at each other’s hair, calling each other names, and dumping their candy all over the ground. The two boys never got along, but somehow Levi thought that they might be good friends when they got older; they had some similarities in personality that were hard to ignore.

The confrontation was brief, Jean’s mother being sweet and overly apologetic about her boy trying to take Eren’s candy right from his bucket. Levi’s unamused stare had her pulling Jean in a different direction, nervous apologies still muttering from her lips.

“What did I tell you about fighting, Eren?” Levi asked sternly when they were separated a good distance from the rest of the Halloween crowd. His son looked away. Levi made him look back at him with a hand on his cheek. “Huh? What did I tell you?”

“Fightin’ is for nawty boys?” he recited sheepishly, looking to Mikasa for help. She nodded.

“And?”

“Be nice.”

“That’s right,” Levi concluded, unable to fully hide the scowl that contradicted his words.

Levi begrudged getting Eren out of his little tussle when he saw the look he was giving him. His son looked peeved and scared at the same time—half wanting to complain about his candy left in the gutter, half wanting to run away from Papa’s disapproving scowl and the tight grip on his hand. Eren yanked his hand away with a petulant whine, but before he could scamper off, Levi grabbed his hand again and tugged him along after Mikasa.

Levi clenched his jaw. He didn’t know what to do with this one. He really didn’t.

The three of them continued on down the road to meet up with Erwin and Armin who had stopped at their friend Hange’s place. It really was an eyesore. There were so many decorations and so many themes happening all at once—strobe lights flashing, spooky noises moaning. Was a house even under all that crap?

Hange was throwing a Halloween party like she did every year, and was dressed as a mad scientist...like she was every year…

“You really need more variety in your costumes, Hanj. You can’t be the same dumb scientist every year. It’s boring.”

“Well, hello to you too, Witch _Bitch_ ,” she said with a grin, the last word whispered behind her hand so the kids wouldn’t hear. “You guys gonna come in or are you just gonna stand out on my porch all night?”

“We can’t Hange, I’m sorry,” Erwin replied. “We’ve been out for a couple hours, and I think we’re all getting a little tired.” Armin yawned wide and long to prove his point. “It was nice chatting with you, though!”

“ _Aahh!_ You guys are no fun! Acting all like responsible parents,” Hange teased with another grin. “No, it’s alright. Are we still on for dinner Thursday night with the squad?”

“Absolutely.”

Hange looked down at the kids next, greeting them with a toothy smile and a big bowl of candy.

“What do you say?” Erwin asked the kids, nudging Armin forward to his friend’s doorstep. Mikasa stepped forward from Levi’s side, encouraging Armin to be more brave and stand up next to her.

“Trick-r-treeeat,” Armin sang happily, Mikasa joining in with her own unaffected version of the phrase. Eren grumbled a quiet “Treat,” behind them, his sweaty hand still clasped firmly in Levi’s.

“Ohhh,” Hange cooed at Eren as she doled out a generous helping of candy to his two siblings. “What’s got you so gwumpy, Eren?” she asked, puffing out her cheeks and furrowing her exaggeratedly painted brows to mimic him.

“Seems we ran into Jean on the way here,” Levi explained blandly. “The Kirstein boy,” he clarified for Erwin, to which he received an understanding nod. “Got in a squabble, lost half his candy.” He let go of Eren’s hand so he could go up and replenish his candy levels from Hange’s endless supply.

“Papa’s mean!” Eren shouted as he ran up to her with his own scowl that could rival his father’s.

Levi sighed heavily and put his hand over his eyes. He could feel Erwin’s pitiful look boring into the side of his head, though he couldn’t see it. Hange was probably giving him the same damn look. Mikasa too. “Everyone’s tired, let’s just go home and go to bed,” Levi bit out, feeling more like an old man now than he had at any other point in his life.

A large hand slid over his shoulder, massaging at his neck as it was apt to do. He leaned into Erwin, his witch hat folding over awkwardly with the close proximity. When he opened his eyes, Hange was giving him that pitying look that he had been expecting, though Eren was clearly happier now that his pumpkin pail was filled to the brim.

“Daddy it’s heavy!” Eren whined and tottered forward with his bucket. He sighed happily when Erwin took his pail from him, Armin’s joining soon after. Mikasa held her own, strong as a superhero.

“Time for bed?” Erwin asked the kids. Three affirmative nods; it was already 9:00pm, an hour past their usual bedtime. He felt Levi nod against his shoulder and he rubbed his arm again, waving goodbye to Hange with the two fingers he didn’t need to hold his kids’ candy buckets. “Goodnight, Hange.”

“Gnight, guys. Happy Halloween!” Levi gave her a half-assed smile and turned around, Erwin moving smoothly with him.

They began their trek home—only a few blocks, but avoiding the haunted houses made the trip a bit longer. The three kids walked a concrete square or two ahead of them, Erwin’s arm still resting comfortably about Levi’s shoulders.

“Levi—”

“What?” Levi snapped without looking at him, gauging how loud his voice should be to avoid being overheard by the kids. “Going to put me on a time-out because I’ve failed again at parenting?” He received a stern frown that juxtaposed the clownish makeup on Erwin’s face, and clenched his jaw. “I can’t handle kids for shit. It’s not like I can just take them back for a fucking refund or something stupid like that.”

“You’re not a failure, Levi. Mikasa is closer to you than she is to me. You do just fine with her and Armin.”

“Yes. Because they are easy,” he retorted, watching Armin release his grip on his siblings hands and bravely bound out a few feet in front of them on his own. “Eren is another story. All I am to him is mean and scary and the one who makes him do shit he doesn’t want to do.”

“He is a difficult child, I will admit that. It’s just going to take a while for him to learn. He _is_ only four.” He leaned over and gave Levi a gentle kiss. “They’re all reaching the age range where they learn how to make you angry on purpose,” Erwin added with a small chuckle.

“He needs to come with a goddamn manual. How am I supposed to know how to parent him when he’s always such an uncooperative brat?”

“This is just as much a learning experience for the both of us as it is for the kids. No first-time parent knows what the hell they’re doing, Levi. All I had for previous experience was babysitting the neighbors’ four kids when I was a teenager. Talk about brats,” he tried to assure.

Levi huffed. He guessed that Erwin had some valid points. It would never be perfect, just like any other relationship. There would always be changes and evolutions. Adaptations. It would almost be like growing up all over again, but watching from the outside—guiding them and teaching them, hopefully giving them a better childhood than he had.

He put his hand over Erwin’s on his shoulder, squeezing his fingers lightly. They watched the kids silently. Only a block and a half until they got home.

A stiff breeze swept over the street, kicking up leaves and rustling the thick hedges on the side of the paved sidewalk. Armin looked around nervously, more antsy now that he was getting sleepy. Another hedge rustled and he paused in front of it for a moment, Eren and Mikasa closing the gap between them until he decided it was nothing and kept walking out in front. It was probably just a bird or a squirrel rustling around in the branches.

When a twig snapped beside him, Armin’s eyes went wide with fear and he screamed high and loud when a masked boy jumped out at him and snatched at his arm with rubber claws. Everyone froze at Armin’s scream, the low growl from the gargoyle-masked assailant morphing into a peal of pleased laughter when the small pumpkin fell backwards onto the concrete and started wailing.

“Hey!” Levi barked. He didn’t even bother looking at Erwin when he threw his arm off of his shoulders; he was instantly outraged. The distinct motherly urge to destroy anything that hurt his kids flared wild under his skin. Armin kept sobbing as the rest of the family moved swiftly closer to the still laughing boy.

Anyone who took joy in making a precious little kid like Armin cry deserved to have their face kicked in. Eren reached Armin first, barrelling past him without a thought and slamming his foot as hard as he could into the gargoyle’s leg.

“Ow!” the kid shouted, doubling over to grab his throbbing shin. He stamped his foot back down, thrusting a hand out to grab a handful of Eren’s hair. “You little shit! What do you—”

The kid’s fingers were crushed together by a iron grip, his hand falling easily away from Eren’s head. Another hand pulled his loose mask off, forcing him to look directly into the sharp gray eyes level with his. The kid looked no older than a highschool freshman. His fingers were squeezed tighter, the bones rubbing together uncomfortably. Levi’s voice was a venomous hiss when he threatened, “If you touch any of my kids again, it’ll be the last time you have the privilege of having all ten of your fingers.”

If the man growling in his face wasn’t enough to scare him off, the huge horribly-dressed vampire looming behind him certainly did. He scampered away, cursing at them all as he did, and Levi resisted the urge to throw something at the stupid kid.

“Try not to get arrested for assaulting children, Levi,” Erwin whispered half-sarcastically. “Other parents are watching.”

“I don’t care,” Levi dismissed, shifting his witch hat more comfortably back on his head. The two parents turned to help up their crying son, but Eren beat them to it again, grabbing Armin by his squishy pumpkin sides and heaving him up. He caught him in a hug when he stumbled forward.

Armin sniffled loudly, his lip wobbling dangerously as Eren looked at him with angry furrowed brows. He squished Armin’s cheeks between his hands.

“No crying,” he declared matter-of-factly. When Armin hiccupped again, Eren leaned forward and smooshed a sloppy kiss on Armin’s lips. Levi couldn’t help but snort a laugh at the way Armin pushed Eren away with a scrunched face.

“Your nose is _icky_ ,” Armin whined, wiping at his face with his sleeve. Mikasa helped him wipe his face with a tissue, before she turned to Eren and pushed one insistently into his nose. Levi cocked an eyebrow.

“Mikasa, where did you get those tissues?” he asked her skeptically. He hadn’t seen Erwin give her any, and he didn’t have any on him either.

“I am the Night.”

Her reply was simple as she stuffed small packet of tissues back into her belt. Levi looked back to Erwin, not surprised to see him almost in tears trying to hold back his laughter. “I’m tired,” Mikasa continued calmly, though the words were meant to be insistent.

“Alright, no more dilly-dallying,” Erwin advised his family, wiping gently at the one tear that managed to escape his eye. “C’mon, buddy. Up we go.” He bent down and picked Armin up with his free arm, giving his lightly scratched hands soft smooches that made his little pumpkin sniffle quietly. Mikasa trailed off in front of Erwin and Armin, scoping out the darkness for anymore evil-doers.

Which left Eren at the back with Levi.

When Levi looked down at him, Eren’s face fell. He had just remembered how he had kicked a big kid after his Papa had gotten angry at him earlier for fighting. Levi glanced up to see that the other three were half a block away already, quite near their home.

His face softened. “Good job,” Levi said to him. He watched the confusion scrunch Eren’s face, trying to figure out what he had done to earn those words. Levi bent down to Eren and his son met his eyes easier this time. “Fighting is bad,” he reminded him; Eren nodded, looking down again for being scolded.

“He made Armin _cry_ ,” Eren replied with a frown.

“Yeah. That was really mean of him. But you protected your brother, right? You helped Armin?” Eren nodded again, looking back up. “We take care of our family. Right, Eren?”

He held his hand out in front of Eren, palm expectant. Eren’s face lit up suddenly, raising his hand high above his head and meeting Levi’s with a loud slap. If Levi’s hand wasn’t so much bigger than Eren’s, their high-five might’ve been a miss, but the target was met and Eren looked unbelievably proud of himself.

Levi stood and ruffled Eren’s hair muttering a, “Next time aim for his balls,” to himself. When he held out his hand Eren took it, and they set off after the others.

“Daddy, Mikasa and Armin are probably home already. What if they’re eating all the candy?” Levi teased with a small smirk. Eren gasped loudly in offense and set off in a determined, brisk half-run. Holding onto his witch hat so it wouldn’t fly away, Levi let Eren pull him all the way home.

 

* * *

 

Thankfully the kids were exhausted enough when they got home that none of them put up a fight while getting ready for bed. Erwin had them clean and cozy in record time, ready for Levi to say goodnight to them before he had the wine on the living room table and settled on a channel on the television.

Each of the kids had gotten a piece of candy of their choice before they brushed their teeth, though Eren still quietly whined for more. His eyelids fluttered sleepily the longer he stayed awake, his complaints dying down as Erwin’s goodnight kiss settled him into bed.

When Erwin left to change into pajamas and wash his face, Levi was left alone with the kids. He said goodnight to Mikasa first, just on the other side of the door of the boy’s room. She gave him a hug with a tired, “G‘night, Papa,” and was out before Levi was even out of the room.

Armin was just as easy, already half asleep and muttering. Levi tucked him in tight and kissed his forehead, smiling when Armin snuggled into his blankie and hugged his teddy tighter.

Levi moved to the bed directly across from Armin’s, sitting on the edge and leaning over to give his last goodnight of the evening. Eren opened his eyes when Levi pulled back, surprising him when he reached up to hug his neck.

“What are you still doing awake?” Levi asked, hunching over and hugging him back.

“More candy,” he whispered in his ear.

Levi scoffed quietly, mindful not to rouse Armin. “Maybe tomorrow. Sleep now.”

Eren yawned wide at let go of Levi’s neck; Levi clenched his jaw against his own yawn.

“Ok, Papa.” Eren turned over and stuck his thumb in his mouth, pulling his Avengers blanket up around his neck. Levi tucked his other blankets in tighter and stood, flicking on the nightlight between the two boys’ beds.

“Goodnight,” Levi whispered into the dark room. He had the door almost shut before he heard Eren again.

“Love you, Papa,” he mumbled around his thumb.

Levi let himself smile. “I love you too, Eren.” He closed the door the rest of the way, leaving it open just a crack for Armin.

A warm sigh left Levi, his tension fading with the breath. He still had a lot to learn; like Erwin had said, there was _always_ something new to learn. Hearing such simple words from Eren made it seem all the more feasible that he could be a good parent. He could be forgiven. He hadn’t messed up yet.

“What are you so smiley about?” Erwin asked when Levi entered the living room, washed and dressed for the night.

“Nothing,” Levi dismissed lightly, taking his place next to Erwin on the couch.

He lifted his glass of wine from the coffee table in front of them, the base buried under the candy that covered the entire surface. Levi swirled the wine in his glass, giving Erwin a skeptical look when the light caught all the specks of glitter suspended in his drink.

“What the hell is this?” Levi groused, sniffing his wine with distaste. It smelled more like grape juice than it did wine.

“Vampire’s Blood,” Erwin replied with a hardly contained chortle. “Petra neglected to inform me of how uh... _sparkly_ it was when she gave me the bottle.”

“Whatever,” Levi dismissed, downing a large sip. He didn’t know exactly how edible glitter was made, but he imagined the tiny bits of metal destroying his intestinal tract. He inhaled another hearty amount of wine despite his thoughts. “Let’s get started.”

 

* * *

 

It took the second half of _Friday the 13th_ , all of _Hocus Pocus_ , and a few more glasses of wine for the two of them to get through inspecting all the candy collected by their three kids. Only a handful or so got tossed, another handful eaten by Levi; he wasn’t exactly paying attention to how many pieces he was consuming after two full glasses of ‘Gay Vamp Juice,’ which had proved to be more potent than he had anticipated.

The two exhausted parents divided the candy evenly back into the three pumpkin buckets and settled back into the couch, finally able to completely relax like a pair of lumps.

Levi curled up into Erwin, half-sitting on him in his attempt to reach his neck and cover it with lazy kisses. He was a little sloppy, making Erwin chuckle quietly at the hand wandering up his shirt. He flinched at the ticklish slide of lips under his ear.

“What are you after?” Erwin teased with a light squeeze of Levi’s side. “You still want to have sex this late?”

“Ugh, no,” Levi complained with a grimace. He gasped when Erwin’s grip shifted to his ass and pulled him over to settle squarely on his lap. “I ate too much candy, fuck off,” he said with a barely contained slur, the languid kisses reciprocated against his own neck petering out his bitterness.

“You sure it’s not all the wine you had?” Erwin asked, kissing Levi’s sharp jaw and hugging his slim waist.

“I only had two glasses,” Levi countered. He leaned down and gave Erwin a hard peck on the lips in retaliation.

“You had two of your own. And then started drinking mine.”

“Okay, fine. So that just means you have to work harder to get me up for getting me drunk on purpose,” Levi blamed petulantly.

“Now why would I do that?” Erwin replied with an amused smile. He kissed Levi slowly, making his partner melt under the soft caress of lips. When he pulled away Levi’s cheeks were flushed a pretty pink.

“You just...want all the fun for yourself. Asshole.”

“Do I?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want me to do to make it up to you?” Erwin teased. He groped his hands over Levi’s thighs and backside, making the smaller man on top of him sigh and gently roll his hips. Erwin couldn’t completely hide his mischievous little smirk.

“Do you vant me to suck your dick?” he managed to ask in an awful imitation of Dracula’s Transylvanian accent, weakened in intensity by his hardly contained laughter.

“I’m almost one-hundred percent sure that my unbelievably soft dick just crawled up inside my body,” Levi stated with bland sincerity, his bluntness only making Erwin laugh harder. “Shut up, Erwin, you’re going to wake up the whole fucking neighborhood.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it,” Erwin said with a smile. He brought his lips to Levi’s neck and nipped at it, pinching skin and flesh between his teeth. Levi huffed quietly, his breath hitching with each sharp sensation. “When I bit you with those ridiculous fangs… You liked that, didn’t you?” Erwin teased.

“That one time I got married?” Levi replied with his own tipsy tease in his voice. “Yeah, that was stupid.”

Erwin snorted and bit down, a low whine and hard grind of hips answering him. “Yes. Too bad you’re _stuck_ with me now.”

Levi hummed his agreement and kept grinding into Erwin. He brought the man beneath him into a deep kiss, sweet and heady like the wine they had been drinking. He slid a hand down between them and pressed it to Erwin’s hard length, already eager to be touched.

“Worst husband ever,” he muttered, giving him a squeeze. “I knew you got me drunk just to have all the fun.” He smirked lazily into Erwin’s parted lips. “I’m the _good_ husband, always the one to _satisfy you_.”

Erwin groaned quietly into Levi’s mouth as he kissed him again, fumbling fingers pulling down the waistband of his pajama pants. Levi smiled, letting his tongue slip back into Erwin’s mouth. His fingers teased down the front of his pants.

“ _Papaaa_.”

“ _Shit!_ ” Levi hissed, pushing away from Erwin who had bit his tongue a little too hard in surprise. He whipped his hands away from Erwin’s lower half and twisted around awkwardly to look at Armin standing in the hallway.

Thankfully Armin looked too tired to really notice anything suspicious going on; his blankie was draped over his head, his eyes covered by his sleepily rubbing fists. “Pappaa,” he whined again. He leaned against the wall to support his drooping body and opened one of his eyes to meet Levi’s and Erwin’s. “Papa, water...pease...”

When he started his slow stumble toward the two on the couch, Levi stood up—a little too fast it seemed, as he had to recalibrate his tipsy limbs after the sudden movement. Levi picked up one of the pillows and dropped it into Erwin’s lap with an exasperated expression; his husband took it like a good sport with a quiet grin and sat obediently on the couch.

Armin took Levi’s hand when it was offered, their journey to the kitchen slow with both of their bodies sluggish for different reasons. The small boy waited patiently for Levi to find his favorite sippy cup—the blue one with the little round penguins and polar bears—and a glass for himself.

They both drank their water together in silence. Armin chugged half of his in one go, a little out of breath when he finally brought his cup down.

Levi chuckled at him. “Pretty thirsty, huh, bud?” Armin rubbed his lips together and nodded.

“Fanks, Papa.”

“You’re welcome. Ready to go back to bed?” When he received the nod of confirmation he bent over and gathered Armin up in his arms. He was thankful that Armin was the smallest of the three kids; if Mikasa had wanted to be picked up at the moment he would’ve toppled over before he was even completely upright.

Armin took another long sip from his cup, pulling away to mutter a soft, “Night, Daddy,” to Erwin on their way through the living room. Erwin was still sitting on the couch, fingers linked and resting over the pillow in his lap.

“Goodnight, Sweetheart. Sleep tight.” Armin closed his eyes after the reply, seeming to fall back asleep in a matter of seconds.

Back in the bedroom, Eren was sleeping like a rock—dead to the world even when the sippy cup in Armin’s limp hold slipped past Levi’s fingers and clattered to the floor. He set Armin down in his bed, his eyes only open again until Levi pulled the blankets back over him and set his cup on the little table between the two beds.

“Papa and Daddy kiss a lot,” Armin mumbled sleepily. Levi wanted to smack his hand to his forehead, but he knew Armin had only seen them kissing and nothing more. He was still a precious, untainted angel for the time being.

“That’s because Daddy and I love each other very much,” Levi explained. The sappiness of the words made him blush more than the wine did.

“Does Papa love me?”

Levi bent down and pecked kisses all over Armin’s cheek, making him giggle and smile. “Yes, I love you too. A whole bunch.”

Armin’s smile faded a little, his eyebrows scrunching together. “Does Papa love Eren?”

Levi brushed his fingers through Armin’s soft hair and gave him small, kind smile. “Yes, I love Eren too. I love _you_ , and _Mikasa_ , and _Eren_ , and _Daddy_. A whooole big lot.” He gave Armin one more kiss on his forehead. “Don’t you ever think that Papa and Daddy don’t love all of you.”

“Okey, Papa.” Armin nodded and smiled to himself, snuggling back into his blankie.

Levi guessed this was one of those things everyone always talked about—those little moments that made the pains and frustrations of being a parent all worth it in the end. There were so many more moments like that to come that Levi was hopeful for. Times when his and Erwin’s decisions would shape their kids’ lives, times when what they had taught them would guide them when they were all out on their own.

Even this one moment was an important start—the most important. Making sure that Mikasa, Eren, and Armin knew that he and Erwin loved them more anything, and that that would never stop. They weren’t going to give up on them, or abandon them. They’d always be there for them, always help them, always, always love them. And they all needed to know that from the moment they could comprehend the concept of it.

Armin was already asleep again by the time he had finished pondering life and parenting questions and remembered that Erwin was still waiting for him on the couch in the living room.

When he returned to him, Erwin had his head tipped back against the couch, his mouth slightly open to let out his soft snores. Levi turned off the TV and Erwin woke in an instant, triggered awake by the lack of background noise. He sat up, scrubbing his hand over his face and looking around to find Levi with his arms crossed at the end of the couch.

“I’m sorry, Levi. Was I asleep for long?”

Levi walked up to him and held his hand out for Erwin to take. He took it, letting himself be pulled up; the pillow fell back to the couch with hardly a sound. “Not too long. But I think it’s time for bed,” he replied, leading him along behind him to the other end of the house to their own bedroom.

They fell into bed together, too exhausted to do anything else beside just lay there. Levi managed to turn over onto Erwin’s chest and looked up at him. He gave Erwin the sweetest, sugary kiss he had ever given him—slow and soft, lips and hands gentle.

Erwin smiled at him when he leaned away. “You were so frisky earlier. What’s the occasion?”

Levi yanked the covers over them, ignoring the comment about him being frisky like he was some kind of old man. “Nothing,” Levi said, rolling over onto his side to let Erwin curl up behind him. The warmth surrounded him in an instant, Erwin pressed up against him and settling an arm over his waist. “I just love you.”

He could feel Erwin’s smile pressed into the back of his neck and the soft kiss that followed. “Still? After eighteen years?”

“A whoooole bunch,” Levi muttered drowsily.

“Is this a trick or a treat?” Erwin asked. Levi turned over and looked up at him. They both knew what the answer to the silly question was.

“Definitely a trick,” Levi grumbled with a gravely serious face.

He sighed when Erwin kissed him back, just as sweet and slow. He brought his hands up to Erwin’s face, sliding them back to wrap his arms around his neck. Sleep was steadily being pushed to the back burner in favor of making out like they were a couple of teenagers back in high school again.

They both sighed happily into each other’s lips, quiet and almost as innocent as their first kiss.

“Definitely a treat,” Erwin corrected him with a smile.


End file.
